Moving fast

Tunneling through

Blotches of light, purple, black–splatting

Moving fast

Tunneling through

So fast it goes

A woman on a rock, dark sky, clutching for her life

Grasping, blue and silver brocade

Long brown hair

Pushing through, pushing through

The room, I am there with you now

And torn pages and torn lives are locked outside

Thoughts, worries, concerns gone

It is only you and I

Locked in this quiet room with you

Face to face we are–silence

There is little to say

Because you already know

Pushing away, pushing away, let go, pushing away

But you reappear in my garden

As a backdrop, in full bloom

Pushing away, locking out, cleaning my mind

The red, green, gold and purple framing your face

Pushing away, pushing away

Thoughts of today and birthdays

And celebrations and the field

Pushing away, pushing away

And forgiveness and understanding and acceptance

I try and revisit that room to meet you again

Leaving everything behind once more at that bolted door

I think of the sweet taste in my mouth, your nourishment

I worry about my children

Time passes quickly, the buzzer, the chime

Head down at first, mind twitching, feet twitching

A rosary in my hand

And then the tunneling starts

A journey inside to my inner banks

And I find myself there, again, alone again with you

And all the others try to push through

Good thoughts, angry thoughts, worry

And once again, I let go

When I can’t find that door

I listen once again to the trickling of the baptismal font

And the rise and fall of my breath

And the promenade of my naked feet

Rise and fall on the parquet floor

Like those of a ballerina

Ball first, push down and then heel

Like a marriage walk, slow and precise

My feet press into this hard ground, this earth, this place

I am here and alive

I have been here before